The last week, i've had pretty much nothing to do. So i'm trying to be productive and dedicate my time to learning new things. Things that will help me in the future.
Yesterday, I began to build a new ASP driven website. I designed the layout, I used Dreamweaver's built in ASP functions to drive it. I designed the database, and hooked it up via ODBC, and I set up IIS, to host my site locally.
I enjoy it profusely. I haven't used Dreamweaver in about two years, nor designed a working site. I'm not a programmer, i will never be a programmer, I don't pocess the intelligence or the perseverence to become a programmer. So, I make do with the tools I have, and try and pick up the coding as I go. I have a bit of knowledge, but not enough. So i'm trying to learn. Which is great.
I've hit a few snags along the way. But, i'm learning as I go, which is my aim. Whether or not I buy a domain, and pay for hosting, depends entirely on how much I learn. If I get it online, it will host my photos, and i'll build my own blog page, and so will use it to blog too. This is it's current design, although the design keeps changing.
When my eyes started hurting because of excess PC use, I then decided, time to be creative elsewhere. And what better place to be creative, and combine another love of mine - food, but the kitchen!
So, I went to Tesco. Bought some lettuce, carrot, cheese, tomato, mackerel, salsa, and chilli flakes. I combined chopped the salad, gratted the cheese and cooked the mackerel and ended up with this...
If you tell me that this doesn't look delicious, you're fucking mad.
I think i've over worked my arms with my weights. My arms are small and weedy. There's nothing powerful about them. But i'm trying to change that. I use 12kg dumbbells for each arm, and spend forty-five minutes a day using them, pretty much until my muscle cannot lift it anymore and I need my other hand to support the weight. Today, my left arm just gave way. I actually screamed! It's horribly painful. I'm going to leave it a day or two, and hope it heels. Poor, creative, handsome Jamie.
Anti-Intellectualism refers to anyone who feels hostile to any kind of intellectual pursuit. This includes books, news, religious study, politics, anything intellectual.
I would probably say that up until around the age of seventeen, I didn't really care about anything other than myself in life and how certain aspects affected me. It was certainly down to the people I hung around with in school. They had a horribly bad influence on me. By 17, I started to grow out of that, and look at the wider picture. I got to know new people, who could inspire me to use my mind alot more.
I started reading Newspapers daily.
I started reading books frequently, Ancient Rome books, Ancient Greece, Renaissance books.
I started thinking Politically.
I started questioning Religious beliefs.
It strikes me as incredible, that as a species, we've gone from banging rocks together, to building houses, piloting machines that stay in the sky, writing blogs in which the entire World can be able to read in a split second.
And yet, there appear to be those (people I remember from school) who have a fear of anything that might make them use their minds for anything other than weed or alcohol. It's a growing trend. It seems unpopular to use your brain. We have the capacity to learn and to know so much, to question, to think constantly, we have the capacity to be inspired, and to inspire, we can be as creative as possible, we can question the World around us on an incredibly well thought out level, and yet when we do that, we're "geeks".
Infact, some idiots from my old school days, still act like that. I don't retaliate. It gives me great pleasure to know that I am better than them. It's an incredible show of jealousy of their part. It's usually followed by personal insults and threats. It's almost laughable.
It seems alot more desirable nowadays to pick up a magazine with the cover story "World Exclusive: Charlotte Church seen pissing behind a tree in a park". Of course it's the World Exclusive, the rest of the World doesn't give a shit. I live here, and I don't give a shit.
If I were to spend my time, reading nuts magazine constantly, whilst smoking and drinking myself to death, without understanding the World around me, i'd feel inadequate, i'd feel useless, and i'd feel completely worthless.
I can't personally imagine why people wouldn't want to learn new things.
I try to surround myself with people who could easily challenge my beliefs and make me think deeper. It helps to broaden the mind, it helps to understand people. I have cut out everyone in my life, who I considered a bad influence, or who's main concern in life was where their next bag of weed was coming from. I don't need fuckwits like that.
Being intelligent in certain areas (like the area I live) is undesirable, it's not popular at school. I knew I had intelligence at school, but I chose not to use it. I may have even ridiculed those who were using their brains. Looking back, i'm annoyed by this. Those people were much better people than I could ever have hoped to be. As much as I try to make up for it now, but pursuing much more intellectual activities, I went back to college. I'm going on to University. Both something I never thought i'd do when I was 17.
A TV special called "Merchants of Cool" suggested that big advertising agencies are creating a commodity obsessed culture, where intelligence comes second.
I disagree. It is not advertising's fault that people have weak minds.
Anyone who conjures up an opinion on something, without thinking it through, and looking at both sides of the argument, who just says "yeah you're wrong", is a fucking idiot. If you come up with an absolutist view, without checking the evidence on the other side, you should be shot. In regards to Religion, i'm Atheist. I looked at both sides of the argument, even taking up Philosophy in college to have that Atheism challenged, and after considering the evidence, i'm now even more of an Atheist than I was. Politics, I looked at both sides, the right winged approach and the left winged approach. On some issues, i'm left wing, on others, i'm more right wing, i'm not just one thing. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
Intellectualism, even to the people who seem to be scared by using their minds, is all around us, it has created the TVs that you watch, it has put man on the moon, it has invented the Internet that you're now sitting on, and from what? 300 years ago, just 300 simple years, in billions of years, we had no light bulbs, and now look what we've got. How can anyone not be inspired by that? How can someone be more interested in Heat magazine than what's happening in Zimbabwe right now?
It could be down to the lack of usefullness of such pursuits. What good is it for me to know how Claudius ruled Rome, or how Plato has affected all modern Religious beliefs more than Jesus? Why do I need to know that? What benefit is it to me?
Why does it have to benefit you financially? I just like to know that I know these things. If i'm bored, I want light a spliff, i'll read up more on the subject, i'll sit and question myself, i'll have a conversation with someone who could provide a decent debate. I'm lucky in that my dad is Politically minded, so I can have a talk with him about Politics whenever it comes up. My mum loves religious thought, so it's easy for me.
I don't put it down to one person being more intelligent than another. We're all capable of such intelligent thought and debate. There are 16 year olds at the College, that are 100 times better read than I am, that isn't because they're more intelligent, it's because they put more effort in than I did at that age. I put it down to how secure we feel with ourselves. If someone is so insecure that they ignore the World around them and the knowledge that comes with it, swapping it for a spliff, then they will never accept that they have a computer in the heads much more powerful than any other computer on Earth. If people realise that we clearly have the potential as humans to learn an instrument, to read up on our History, to challenge Politcal ideals, to question Religious beliefs, if we all understood the power of the mind, the World would be incredible.
This afternoon I watched '21'. In it, the Professor of Maths played by Kevin Spacey described the Monty Hall problem, i'll try and explain it........
Imagine you're on a game show.
There are 3 doors.
Behind one of the doors, is a Car.
The other 2 doors are empty.
The host knows what door the car is behind.
You have to pick a door.
You pick door 1.
The host opens door 3. Nothing is in it.
He then says "do you want to stick with your door, or switch to door 2?"
If you stick with your door, you are almost twice as likely to lose as you are if you win.
This intrigued me.
To me, it would seem 50/50. Two doors left. Can only be one door. So, i'd stick to my door. Supersition on changing doors is too much.
So, how then, can I have a better chance of winning, if i pick the other door?
I'll try to explain the best I can, but bare with me, because I had to have this explained to me, given that it hurt my brain for the past four hours.
There is 100% chance that the car is behind one of those three doors. It's a certain.
Therefore, each door carries 33% of the odds.
-Door 1 - 33%
-Door 2 - 33%
-Door 3 - 33%
The door you pick, you only have 33% of getting it right.
Therefore, there is 66% chance of it being behind one of the other doors.
-Door 2 + Door 3 = 66%
Still with me? Prepare to be lost.
The Host is the key to the game. He KNOWS where the Car is. So, when he opens the door (lets say he opens Door 2), he knows it's not behind the door he's opening, which combined, are 66%.
Therefore, you now know that one of those with 66% odds is not the right door.
Logic tells you to switch to Door 3, because it's the one of the two with 66% odds that the Host didn't open, because he knew the car would be there. The host has effectively, helped you hugely.
If you stuck with your original choice, you'd only have 33% chance. Still a chance, but not great.
Therefore, you're 2/3 likely to win, if you switch than you are if you don't.
Confused? Let me put it a little more simple. If there's 100 doors. And you pick one. Chances are, you've picked an empty one. So, if the Host goes and opens 98 of the those doors, leaving yours, and another one somewhere in the line, chances are, he's left the one with the car. So, you'd switch.
It's one of those puzzles, that makes me think, given that I hate Maths, and get's my brain working. Keeps me from being bored. I love things like this. If anyone else has one (except for 'the chicken or the egg'), then feel free to try my brain.
If you're ever on one of those kinds of game shows. SWITCH BOXES!
Wow, that hurt my brain just writing it out
I'm going to miss College. And in three years time, I'm guessing i'll miss University. I'll miss the people. I'll miss time spent kicking a ball around. I may even miss the lessons. But mostly, i'll miss the 'learning' environment and the social aspect, because it means having to go back to work, talk like a twat, work with people who are just there to get one over on each other and be treated like a piece of machinary for the rest of my life.
Spending the rest of my life, sitting next to people who don't talk to each other, until the weekly meeting, in which they sit next to each other....... but on a different table, a table that suddenly gives them the power of conversation. The single most pointless activity in all Office life.
Spending the rest of my life hearing bollocks that has never, and will never make any real sense, no matter how many fat, arm pit sweating rich men in suits spit it out. Phrases i'm never likely to understand. "Let's touch base"... Which after years of hearing, I decided means "So, tell me what's happening".... why don't you just fucking say that!!!!!!!! "You and me are not on the same page"..... which means, "Either you do what I say without questionning it, or your out. It doesn't work the other way. There is no way when this is said, they mean "hey, i'm going to try extra hard to understand your point of view, come here and give me a hug big man." "Ah sorry, my plate is full"....... Stop with the shit metaphors!!! What, in my experience this means is "I don't want to help you, because i'm busy bidding for a pair of shoes on Ebay "We need someone who can hit the ground running." Sorry, what? I can't even analyse this one for what it might mean, it's just too cryptic.
Spending the rest of my life hearing the most bitchy people on the planet (office workers) love each other, until their backs are turned. Seriously, an example that summed up the Bitchiness at "The Q" perfectly.... ***Woman A enters***** Woman B - "wow you look nice, Woman A. Is that a new dress? Have you lost weight? Hair is looking gorgeous!!!!" ***Woman A leaves**** Woman B - "What a cow. Did you see her hair? Fat bitch, she can never fit in that dress, which looked trampy anyway!!!! I hear she talks about us behind our backs!!! I'd never do that!!!
Seriously, it drives you mad.
Spending the rest of my life doing the same shit, to make other people rich. People who never thank you for doing a job well, but start their period the moment you do something slightly wrong. God forbid they actually do something wrong, the entire team gets blamed. What they mean, the few times you see them out of their office, the few times they bother to talk to their workers, is "LINE MY POCKETS BITCH!!!" And we put up with it, purely so we can go on holiday once a year. What a fulfilled life. The joys of Capitalism.
I think I may just decide to win the lottery this weekend. It's long overdue.
It stands to reason that human beings are not supposed to be with just one person our entire lives. No animal would stand to be with one person sexually their entire lives, it's just not natural. Marriage, therefore, is not natural. Perhaps many of us can overcome this and get on with our lives with one person. We may call them 'the one' or 'our soul mate', but human nature dictates that we are drawn to other people. We may be married, but we still look at other people, in short, we window shop. Many people, go one step further and commit adultery.
Perhaps we have been conditioned to believe that our promiscuous stage occurs in our late teens and early twenties, but throughout our lives, we have sexual needs. It's not 'dirty' it's not wrong, it's human nature. When you marry, chances are, the sex life becomes unfulfilled. To put it nicely, you get bored with each other. The Ancients combatted this problem, by sleeping around and not questionning it. We however, see this as taboo.
Of course we all want to share fun times with someone we have our lives in common with. Many people will say they wish to spend their entire lives together. But, if that person were offered their celebrity crush for one night, in which no one would ever find out, the chances are, they wouldn't say no. Marriage, logically therefore, is a passion killer. It kills the spark there once was. Porn is such a lucrative business, because people feel unfulfilled in their sex lives. Married men, are the biggest viewers of porn. They are also the most frequent visitors to lap dancing clubs. Women buy vibrators, to fantasize about someone other than their partner. And no matter how this is portrayed, it isn't a man's fault. It isn't a woman's fault. It's human nature. Human nature is not being with the same person for our entire lives.
Doesn't it make more sense, for the purpose of happiness, to stay with someone, split with them the moment the passion dies, and get together with someone else, and carry this chain on? "The one" does not exist. There is not one person for everyone. There are many people, for everyone. Doesn't promiscuity, although a taboo, appear to be much more desirable, and in the interests of human nature? Sexual attraction is something none of us can get away from, no matter how "in love" we think we are. Is our sexual freedom blocked, by a system of religious beliefs, that even if we're Atheist, still have a concept of? Social norms decide how we can and can't act, sexually.
People live in an odd dream World sometimes, where out of the billions of people living on the planet, their perfect partner, the person they wish to spend their lives with, apparently just lives down the road. These people have usually only really actually travelled to the end of their road, so have nothing to compare their 'one' too. It's quite ridiculous. Perhaps the way we feel at a certain time dictates 'the one' but we all change. Perhaps 'the one' when we're 17, may be the opposite to what we want when we're 40. Perhaps a part of them, is not compatible, or maybe we start looking elsewhere, because, as suggested earlier, looking elsewhere is human nature. We don't look elsewhere for different parents, we don't look at a celebrity and wish that they were our parents instead of who are actually our parents, because there exists that unconditional love that just doesn't exist with our partners.
Anakin's from Episode III. Anakin is cooler than Luke, so I don't want Luke's. How Childish am I? I want to jump around like a Sith Lord, trying to overthrow the Republic. And then, I want a Wookie. And then i'll paint Stacy green and call her Yoda. And the Millenium Falcon, because it'd be easier travelling at light speed, to get to Stacy's house, than driving through traffic on the M1. Then, I will overthrow the Republic, using my new Lightsaber, and become Emperor Jamie, Also known as Darth Hairless. And if anyone tries to join a rebel alliance, to destroy my room (The Death Room), i'll throw eggs at them from my window. The Galaxy will be mine, all because I have a cool fake lightsaber. You know you want to buy me one. Search your feelings....
In 37AD it was known that if the Emperor of Rome, the balding, ugly Caligula, ran across a man he considered good looking, who had a full head of hair, Caligula would have the man taken into into private rooms, and have his head brutally shaved, leaving gashes in parts of the head that Caligula most disliked.
Caligula then made it a capitol offence to look down on him, or mention Goats in any context, because he considered Goats hair to be a threat. His clear madness was probably the result of three hours sleep a night every night.
Now, since leaving college, i've had about 8-9 hours sleep a night. So, technically, in my line of thought, my response to anyone who insults my apparent lack of hair, should be three times more severe than hating goats. Of course this is almost 2000 years later, but the punishment for verbally attacking my hair, should be the same, or even harsher. You should be put to death. Death my non-stop Eurovision repeats from the past thirty years, whilst your eyes are kept open. You'd soon go mad and your head would explode.
I have less hair than I did when I was 17. It's slowly falling out. The process has slowed down quite momentously over the past two years. My head kind of just said "Ok, we'll leave you with a bald patch and a horribly receeding hairline." It's blatantly punishing me for my long haired days....
I could go bald graciously and do fuck all about it. My old man did that. Or, I could take the metrosexual route, and have my head shaved. I've been considering having my head shaved for a while. But, I like to wear my hoody, which means I already have that chav aura about me, so wearing a hoody and a shaved head, i'm going to be chucked out of every shopping mall in the Country. Old women will cross the street rather than walk past me, 21 year old women in a Burberry tracksuit, with multi-coloured kids and a fag behind her ear will take a liking to me. I'll become part of a 'crew' and start saying "heavy" and "blap". Alternatively, I could end up looking like an uglier Shane Ward. Which is worse. The stigma of having a shaved head just isn't worth it. So, I may just continue to wear my hat and smile quite cheesy.
It may be wrong, and slightly disturbing that I seem to have more head on my chest than my head. I could of course just shave my chest and stick it to my head, but I think that may just look worse.
Could be worse, I could be a ridiculous female, with other people's hair glued to their heads and called 'extensions'. They annoy the fuck out of me. How disgusting.
We're all beautiful in our own special way. Unless you're fat. Or spotty. Or deformed in any way. But apart from that, we're all beautiful. Well maybe not you, but I fucking am. With or without head hair! And if you disagree, or mention goats, i'm going to get one of my Imperial guards to cut your face off. Deal?
Back when I was fourteen for around three years, my area was full of people I'd hang around with. Some more than others. The three I held in the highest regard, and loved their company, was by far Blain, Sasha, and Jo. The four of us would spend most of our time together. Circumstances change, and you lose contact, but you never forget the days when you had absolutely no care in the World.
Whether it was the case, as I remember it, Blain was the one who had a crush on Jo but would never tell her, Jo was my best friend at the time, and Sasha was the quietest but the sweetest. And I, was probably the boring sensible one. Infact, not much changes.
Every day, consisted of school, home, having Jo walk round to my house. She and I would then make our way to Sasha's house, who lived a few doors down from Jo anyway, so why she never went there first is beyond me, but that's just the way it was.
We'd either sit in Jo's garden, and play ridiculous games, which as playful and child-like as they were, I miss now. Or we'd come to my house, sit in the living room or in my bedroom.
I'm so not going to publicise the drunken McDonalds episode, or name names, because Jo would be totally embarrased if I named her, and told everyone on here that she stormed into mcdonalds, drunk, covered in mud and gravel from where she'd fallen over, and begged Blain for a kiss. I'll keep it to myself.
Randomly, me and Jo would spend some evenings watching Eastenders. How exciting. It's a shame the four of us don't have any pictures together.
I've had hundreds of friends come and go since those days, people I see more of than them three. But I still hold Blain, Sasha and Jo as the closest friends I have ever had, who I could happily trust with my life. You think at the time, that these are the people you'll be friends with your entire life. People move on, get new friends, you slowly lose contact, and you get on with your life. You look back with great fondness and you keep the memories alive every time you look back over your life. Despite all the fun i've had since, with new friends, the places i've been and the things i've learnt from them that have shaped the way I am, I will always look back over my life, and the three years I spent with those three, will be the ones I miss the most.
In the late '80s, my family owned a small family run shop. My mum and dad had been paying their taxes for years, alot of money into places that then, out of nowhere, Maggie Thatcher then sold, to her rich friends, and we saw no benefit out of it. The one thing we got from that era, was a poll tax, that in turn lost us our shop, a shop that my mum to this day is adamant would have been successful. They put their lives into that shop. We were effectively homeless.
Looking back, I remember the upset it caused. I was about four years old, I clearly remember reluctantly leaving the shop for the last time, in silence, the whole family looking like someone had died. It was awful. And now, I realise, it was all done to fund tax breaks for rich people who wear suits and say "let's do lunch".
In the late '70s, our family voted Labour all our lives, but didn't vote in '79. Labour had destroyed the Country. Thatcher promised to make things better. My family were very cautious to believe Tory spin. So they didn't vote. Thatcher got in. The country was thinking it'd be saved.
Then... Record unemployment in the north, where mines and factories closed. Tax breaks for the rich with their big houses, whilst 60% of Liverpool's hard working poor, were left unemployed. Record inflation levels.
Maggie was hated, by the majority of the Country. The SDP were on the rise, whilst Thatcher knew the public were unemployed and unable to afford to live, she continued to press through reforms to the economy in order to benefit those who didn't fucking need benefitting.
Who best to attack next? Ah yes, school kids, free milk apparently promoted dependence, which she hated. Any form of togetherness or community got in the way of independence, or greed, and so free milk was taken away. More money from the poor. Wonderful.
She then cut funding to the Falklands. Withdrew the navy from the Falklands and left it unprotected. Knew damn fucking well she needed some way of making herself popular again, and knowing damn fucking well that the Argentines wanted those islands back, so she provoked them into War. We then won the war, over islands she didn't give a shit about, to install a sense of national pride, and suddenly every fucker loved her. How fickle were these idiots?
What more can she do? Needs to win support from the poor. Let them buy their council houses for a cheap price. Brilliant......ly selfish. A council house is for couples to rent, save money, move into a bigger house, leaving the council house for the next young couple, which in turn, keeps prices low, so people can afford it. Now, because people are allowed to buy their council homes, there are no fucking homes left. I'll never own my own house because of Thatcher.
She ruined lives, so ignorant rich cunts could reep the benefits. The devil in a skirt. Evil. When she FINALLY dies, if there is a State funeral for her, i'm moving country. She is the reason I will never vote Tory. She sold arms to Sadam, she befriended Pinochet, one of the most evil dictators on Earth. She was fucking evil.
The most stable the country has been, in thirty odd years, was under Blair. By far.
Yeah so, if I were American, i'd be a Democrat. I'd rather have my balls chopped off than vote Republican. I keep hearing from Republicans, that Democrats would destroy the Economy. Clearly those Republicans aren't aware of just who has been running the American economy into the ground for the past eight years.
I'm not going to get into my Left wing views, but any Party that puts Private Healthcare at extotionate rates above universal healthcare and ignores the fact that they have a real poverty problem, is not worth voting for.
Democratic Senator, Jim Webb, with a distinguished history in the Marines Corps, and a graduate of the U.S Naval Academy (apparently, Americans vote on military record and religious views rather than political ability), first assisant secretary of Defense, during the Reagan Administration. A very distinguished Senator.
Webb's first act in the 110th Senate, was to introduce a Bill that increased benefits for Post-9/11 soldiers. It entitles a full four years State-paid College education for those heroes on the front line. This is a great bill. Given that the Army tends to attempt to recruit those people from the poorest of neighbourhoods first, knowing they want the money the most, and yet, even though these kids are dying for America, are then ignored when they get home by the Republicans in power, in favour of tax cuts for thieves in business suits, then this measure is a god-send. It also offers a monthly living stipend and a $1000 books/supplies stipend.
John McCain disapproved. Here's a man with a military record, state educated, and refers to the heroes in Iraq more often than not, as 'the future'. He's quite happy to spend $600,000,000 to send kids to their death on the basis of a lie, but when it comes to rewarding them for what he's done, he wants no part of it. Typical uncaring, selfish, individualistic Republican then. But hey, as long as he doesn't have a slightly muslim sounding name right?
Obviously, Bush disapproved. It's 'a retention killer' apparently. Which is pretty ignorant given that over 60% of Bush tax cuts, have gone to the top 1% of wealthy business owners in the Country. Those top business men who made over $15,000,000,000 out of the Iraq War (when a government allows war to become a profitable business, there's something not quite right), are clearly struggling through life and need that tax break.......... notice the sarcasm?
I genuinly hope Senator Webb runs for Vice President. It's about time America had people in charge, who aren't solely commited to private enterprise and sucking the dicks of the rich.
I absolutely love this video. God bless Bradley Whitford. This sums up exactly how I feel.
As i'm sat here, with my pizza, watching the self righteous cunt Jeremy Kyle tell people how shit they are, compared to him, it occured to me, quite naturally.....
"I fucking hate phones." All phones.
Not just mobile phones.
I actually hate them more than MSN Messenger. Which, was my most significant life hatred, before discovering my deeper hatred, for phones.
When we're not busy working 24 hours a day to make other people rich, we're on our phones. We keep our phones in our pockets. We keep them on vibrate. We need to be in contact with everyone, all the time.
And what's worse? Those fucking blue tooth headsets on the left side of buisnessmen's faces. Headsets that I don't see. Because i'm sat to their right hand side, on the train. So i'm answering everything they say.
"Hi is Teresa there please?"
*me looking around in confusion*
"No, it's just me, Jamie, i'm the only one here. What is wrong with you?"
"Hi Teresa it's Mike, I was wondering if you're free tonight.."
*deeper confusion on my face*
"I'm Jamie. Who's Teresa? I'm certainly not free tonight"
"Fine bitch! All I asked for was one date! Fuck you!!"
*anger growing on my face*
"Who the fuck you calling a bitc...............ooooooh you're wearing a headset"
Do you have that type of friend who enjoys telling you about their mobile phone package, regardless of if you asked or not?
They burst into their 10,000 free Weekend minutes. I never asked about that!! I would never intentionally say "Now that we're here, tell me about your current mobile phone package." And anyway, there isn't 10,000 minutes in a weekend, you were ripped off before you even signed up.
When I got my current Phone, which is either a Samsung, Nokia, or Sony Eriksson. I have no idea. And I can't be bothered to go and look. When I turned it on, about two minutes into charging it for the first time, rebelling against the instruction manual that clearly states "Charge for four hours, NEVER TURN IT .. FULLY CHARGED OR YOUR TESTICLES WILL EXPLODE!!!", I looked in my picture folder, to find a random promotional picture, of a smiling-cheesy-punch them all in the face family on a beach. What the fuck do I want a picture of someone elses family for?
Predictive text is the most ridiculously annoying feature of any gadget on the entire planet. I want to spell "bar" I get "car". So I get a txt off a family member asking where I am, and i'm sending "I'm in the car, slightly drunk, be home soon".
I want "coat" I get "boat". So I lose my coat, in the bar, I end up txting "I'm in the bar, slightly drunk, be home soon, can't find my boat". My family think i'm drunk driving, whilst slowly losing my mind by looking for a boat, I have never owned. All because predictive text, is about as correct in it's predictions, as Nostradamus.
House phones are just as bad. Especially ours. We used to have an upstairs phone, and a downstairs phone. I could be on the upstairs phone, and dad would pick the phone up downstairs, and start dialing. I'd be like...
"Can you put the phone down please, i'm on it."
*beep beep beep* - Dad dialling again.
"Hellooooo? Put it down! I'm on it up stairs!!!"
*beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeep* - Dad pushing the buttons harder.
"Helllllllllllloooooooooooooo?"
*Dad now thinks he's got through to someone*
"Who's this?"
"It's me!"
"Ismey? I don't know any Ismey"
"It's Jamie! I'm on the upstairs phone!!"
"What the fuck are you ringing us from upstairs for? Come down and talk to us you lazy git."
It just never works.
It's a nightmare waiting to happen.
I'm tempted to destroy my mobile phone, and just surround myself with people I want to be in contact with. Turning my head slightly, to face them, the moment someone wants to talk to me.
A bit of shameful advertising now.
I have a hell of a lot of Photos that i'd love to be able to sell. I don't seem to be getting the exposure i'd like, selling the quantities i'd like.
So, if you're interested in any of the Photos i've ever posted on here, or you want to look at any more, then pleeeeeeaaaaase go to http://jme2007.deviantart.com/prints...om/prints/
Or, click the logo below. It would be massively appreciated. Thanks!
There really isn't all that much to say on the issue, I just fucking hate Oranges.
They taste great.
When someone else has already peeled them, they're natures little gift. They're refreshing and healthy.
When I have to peel them, all hell breaks loose. They're just not my friend. I peel off the top bit, and then attempt to spiral around the rest of it. I end up randomly cutting chunks out of the actual orange, leaving too much of the white shit all around it, or creating space for a lovely scar to appear on my hand sometime in the future. Oranges just don't like me.
Not like Bananas. Of all Natures wrapping, Bananas have the best. You simply peel them, no hassle, simple, no white shit stuck to the fruit after peeling. No juice squiting in your eye (I just made myself laugh....... such a pervert), just a simple fruit. Grapes are even better. You don't even have to peel those, and yet, you're treated to a taste of fruity heaven. Why the fuck do Oranges have to be so awkward? They're the women of the Fruit World.
You're wondering how someone can dedicate an entire blog to peeling an Orange, aren't you? If the little fuckers peeled properly, and the outter layer didn't cling onto the inner fruit, refusing to budge, then maybe you wouldn't have just wasted five minutes of your life reading this blog. Oranges, indirectly made you lose five minutes of your life. See, they're evil little bastards.
Last night, I watched a half an hour talk, with a guy called 'Bill Wiese'. He's the author of a book called '23 Minutes in Hell'. In the book, Wiese claims that one night, he was cast into hell, by God, for 23 minutes.
He describes Hell as being like a prison cell. He claims a thirteen foot demon was stood in his cell, and threw him around, crushing his head. He claims that the fumes are so powerful, that they would kill a person, but because you're already dead, you're suffering pain of death, without actually dying.
He claims he was then hung over a fire, in the fire, people were screaming and burning, flesh melting, but not actually melting because they aren't phsyical bodies.
Apart from these claims, the one thing that got me, the one thing that actually annoyed me the most, amongst other things, was the claim that God pulled him safely out of hell and took him home. He says that on his way home, God told him that Hell was not meant for him. Hell was meant only for the non-believers.
I'm a non-believer. Which means, i'm going to hell.
I've been Atheist my entire life. I could never accept any organised religion. The Bible for me, is full of contradictions and historical inaccuracies. If it were infact the word of God, it would be perfect. It isn't. Therefore, God cannot be perfect.
When I was in Primary school, we were made to pray, and sing hymns, in morning assembly. At that time, I realised it was ludicrous. Kids and intuitive. I knew I was being told I had to believe something, regardless of the lack of evidence for it's existance. So from around the age of 8, i'd say I was atheist. So, if I were to die, as an 8 year old Atheist, would the 'soul' of a child, burn in hell? Be put in a prison cell with demons and beaten? What kind of a God allows that?
What if I become an aid worker? What if I help the lives of millions? What if I do more good than any priest or cardinal or pope, put together, yet stay Atheist? Am I still going to burn in hell? If Hell is ONLY for the non-believers, is it ok that I go on a killing spree now? Given that i'm going to hell anyway, I may have to spend this afternoon stealing some money from tills across the city. What if I kill, rape, steal, beat, destroy and slaughter millions, yet decide to convert to a believer on my death bed? Will I go to heaven?
Surely I can't help not believing? It's not a choice. It's a feeling. Religion likes to pick on those who don't share the same inner feeling as them. Whether they be atheist, homosexual or just of another religious persuasion, they're sure to be going to hell for it. So what it seems like, is with Hell, Atheists or people who would otherwise question religious belief, especially by being told that we'll burn in a scorching fire, are being made to claim we believe, through fear. It's so wrong. The American Government are the worst for it.
Weise annoyed me an incredible amount during his speech. He played on the emotions of the public. It disgusted me. He described the terror the victims of 9/11 felt, when they realised the flames in the Twin Towers, were going to incinerate them, and so they jumped, to escape burning to death......... and that the flames he felt in Hell, was hotter than that. I know he's lying. Call it closed minded, I call it common sense. So, it sickens me to know that to help add credibility to his lie, he uses the unimaginable suffering felt on 9/11. Saying things like "Imagine how you'd feel...." It was the worst example of the manipulation of the public's emotions, i've seen in a long time.
He then, more irritatingly than annoyingly, used Science to tell the audience the heat of the Earth's core. Don't use Science to justify your outrageous lie.
This man wrote book on his 'experiance in hell'. So, unless he gives all of that money that he will inevitably make from that book, to the poor, according to Jesus, he's going to hell too.
I'll see him there.
I'm addicted to this show.
I'm a huge fan of many U.S imports. The West Wing, The Sopranos, Journeyman, 24 and a few more. None of them, quite have the intrigue that Lost has. For those who watched the first season, and still think a monster is on the Island........ fuck right off!!!!
Lost has the most intricate storyline ever. It's deep. The characters and incredibly interesting, and the mystery, is enthralling.
Ben, is the greatest, most complex character of any TV show I think i've ever seen. Great show.
I watched the Season Four finale the other day. And, I have a theory.....
- Christian (Jack's dad) said "you can go now" after Michael stopped a bomb going off. Meaning, Michael's 'work' was to save lives. But who's? It was either Sun, Jin, Kate, Desmond of Aaron. Jin dies anyway. Desmond wasn't part of the Flight that crashed. My theory, is he was there to save baby Aaron's life. It makes sense, given that Aaron is related to Christian.
- Christian and Claire were then seen in the mysterious Jacob's hut, saying to Locke, they would speak on 'behalf of Jacob'.
- Jack is important to the island. He's Aaron's half uncle. Claire, is Jack's half sister.
- Claire, appeared to Kate, who is looking after Aaron, when they leave the island. She tells Kate, not to allow Aaron to go back to the Island.
- Richard (the 'other' who never ages) was searching for 'the one' when he questioned Locke as a kid. He also kidnapped the kids on the island. He's searching, through time, for a special child. Which, then comes to Claire, who was kidnapped, and her unborn child protected, by 'the others' the Season 2, for some reason. They're searching for a child of importance. Jin hasn't been targetted, and she's pregnant. Just Claire. So maybe, that special child has been found?
- A couple of episodes ago, Hurley said in a game of Risk "Australia is the key to the whole thing"...... I found this to be significant. Claire, and therefore Aaron, are from Australia. The only Aussies on the island.
- Remember the psychic who told Claire that Aaron should not be raised by Others? That's pretty significant!
- We now know for certain that time and space are an intricate part of the show.
- This all leads me to the conclusion, that Aaron, is Jacob as a baby. That Jacob does not want to be on the Island, hence why he said "Help me" to Locke. And so, a chain of events is started, preventing Aaron from staying on the Island.
- It then might also explain, why in the future, Jack is so distant from Aaron, after being close to him when they first get off the Island.
Today marked a kind of weird day for me. It was my last day of College, for the actual teaching. I still have exams, but no more lessons at the College, ever. For everyone else, it's different. Most have came straight up from school. I hadn't.
I remember, as if it only happened yesterday, sitting in my office at The Q Group, with my office door open. With my music playing. Fixing an incredibly old PC that blatantly couldn't handle Windows XP, but trying anyway. A couple of months after Bob left, and Sal and Jezza started working from home. I remember the draw of sweets still existing, coming back from McDonalds, with Matt, stopping to have a chat with good ole Tim, who looked suspiciously like Santa, chatting about the new White Stripes album and our opinions on it, after he greeted me every day the same way...
Tim - Morning Jamie! Me - Morning!! How are you today?!?!?! Tim - Ooo tolerable.
Always tolerable.
I wrote a blog on another site I used to use, around 2005ish, about how I wanted out. I didn't want to know I could only ever do one dead end job my entire life. I got sent to College in 2004, on an I.T course. It bored the shit out of me. Sal and Jezza (my two line managers) must have read it. Sal rang up my office and told me I shouldn't worry about being too old to go back to college, I should just up and do it. This made me think.
I then had an odd day, when the Chairman of the company, attempted to intimidate me into taking his side, in his extortion of Sal and Jez, which I refused to do.
Trawling through my old blogs, THIS is the one that made me realise I should quit and go back to college, after three and a half years at The Q Group.
That was over two years ago. To me, this is incredible. It seems like yesterday. I've actually woken up a couple of times, and my first thought being 'I need to get up and ready for work'. That's how routine it got.
At that stage in my life, I didn't know Oli , Matt, Amy, Lizzie, Anna, Joe, little Jed and all the other people i've met at college over the past year and a half, and yet feel like i've known most of my life. It's an incredibly strange thought knowing that the time at College is over. It will be duely missed.
EDIT:
In searching through my old website folder, that i've kept, for nostalgia purposes. I came across one of my very first blogs, on my 18th Birthday, hidden away on my database of blogs. Here it is.....
"Today being my 18th birthday and i have the day off i thought id write a special birthday report, Today i have already legally bought a dvd rated 18 , sopranos series 3 . Also report from yesterday , i found out the 3 girls from a college who came in to help with leafletting last friday made in just 2 hrs of work.... £45 . A HELL of a lot less then what i made . And then yesterday we asked if we could borrow one of the girls downstairs for an hr or so to help out we were told yes she could help . then about 10 mins before we started , her boss type person , who seems to be boss of the table the type who makes you drop everything to come and help her out told us she was needed for other work So i went investigating this other work which turned out to be .....sharpening pencils and sorting through stationary , so most of the day only 2 of us were doing the 2000 leaflet holders and about 8000 leaflets left . Which really got us down and its made me feel like shit and thinkin it was pointless me being there n doing that. I can guarentee when the next lot come in in about 2 weeks ill be made to do them . Anyway im just about to go out for the rest of my birthday. Then im ringing coral later. Then shower then bed."
I love my food. So much so, that if someone tries to eat my food, it takes all my strength to resist killing them. With my bare hands.
Worst still, drinking out of my bottle. Get your own fucking bottle. I don't need your saliva resonating at the bottom of my bottle, breeding on the mouth piece. If I wanted that, i'd kiss you. But I don't. So don't drink out of my bottle. Cunts.
It doesn't bother me what age they are. They could be an innocent child, reaching over and eating a chip from my plate. Or they could be an old lady, unable to walk, who has taken a liking to my sandwich. Either way, they will face J-Day. Kind of like Judgement Day, but with me instead of God. Where, in all seriousness, they'd likely face a fork in the eye.
Today, my box of red grapes. £2.00 from Tesco, I put in my fridge. It sits waiting for me to arrive back from College. I then take them to my room and sit watching TV whilst chomping on them. I get back from college today, and my grapes have been opened and a few had gone missing. Imagine my shock and distress.
I questioned my family. Mum loves grapes. Dad eats anything. The cat would eat his own shit if it were infront of him, and Lauren doesn't eat any thing that may have a positive impact on the body. So, that eliminates Lauren. Which is odd, because whenever something negative happens, Lauren is the usual culprit. But not this time. Healthy food plus Lauren, just don't mix.
Dad and Mum stuck together. They blamed the cat. Now, the grapes were in a box, in the closed fridge. Which means, the cat would have had to have opened the fridge, and then ripped the packet off the grapes, threw the packet in the bin, used his paws to take a couple of the grapes off their branch, and put them back. So straight the way I discredited the 'Cat did it!' story, mainly because, Marty doesn't like grapes. Why would he open the fridge for something he doesn't like? That's just ridiculous.
So that leaves the parents. Stealing off their own child. Too cowardly to admit their grave mistake that could ultimately, lead to the break up of the entire family. I'm tempted to take them onto Jeremy Kyle to sort this out. Justice will be served. Jamie doesn't share his food with anyone.
It occured to me today, that there are a plethora of TV shows with incredibly memorable theme tunes. Obviously, none of the many theme tunes that stick in your brain the entire day, are as geniusly written as, for example, My Way by Sinatra, but they still have their place in musical history.
Of course, the problem is, which of these themes is my favourite.
So heres my list to work with........
Saved by the bell - Everyone knows this theme. "When i wake up in the morning....blah blah blah" it's difficult not to sing alot to it. It amazed me recently how few people at my college, below the ages of 18 have ever actually watched Saved by the Bell. For my generation, it was a must watch show.
That 70s Show - How can anyone not love this song? And such a brilliantly underrated comedy.
Frasier - One of my favourite ever Yank imported comedies. The theme tune makes me want to smoke a cigar, in a smoke filled dimly lit diner, whilst Kelsey Grammer sits at the piano singing "hey baby i hear the blues calling, toss salad and scraaaambled eggs".
Fresh Prince - You can't help but love this theme tune. Much like Will Smith, you can't help but like the bloke. However, I never really found this show all that funny.
The Sopranos - By far one of my favourite TV shows ever made. The theme tune suits it brilliantly. A high contender for best theme tune ever.
Friends - If you don't like this theme tune, you're either way too masculine, or deaf, or just an idiot. It's a great song. Friends itself, is a very funny comedy. It just wouldn't be the same with the theme tune.
Cheers - Not as popular in the UK as it was in the USA, but still a fantastic theme tune. With great opening shots. Sometimes funny, sometimes repetitive, either way, classic theme.
Kenan & Kel - This is my era! The era of decent kids TV shows. The era when Nickelodeon and Disney were competing to make the funniest kids show, with the best theme. Kenan and Kel won it for me. I loved Boy Meets World, Sister Sister, Teen Angel, and Brotherly Love, but none of them stood up to sheer comedy genius, of Kenan and Kel.
California Dreams - Every morning before School, i'd watch this. Apparently, i'm the only person in the World, who ever used to watch it. Watching repeats now, you realise just how bad the actual program was. But who can knock a theme that starts "Surf dudes with attitudes, kinda groovy, with laid back moods". Genius!
EDIT: I just listened to all those themes, and knew the words to everyone of them. I should get out more.
I'm going to have to think this one through. So many great themes to chose from. Give me time!
The most 'feared' man in music. The owner of Deathrow Records. The guy who some describe as 'the devil personified'. The guy who supposedly hung Vanilla Ice off the balcony of a top floor hotel room in return for royalties for 'Ice Ice Baby'. The man who was sat in the car with 2pac the night he was shot, and yet some claim was actually the man who set 2pac up. The man who caused the East vs West war of the 90s. The man who beat the shit out of a female photographer, just because he could. The biggest, baddest man in music. Known as 'The Godfather of music'. Some claim to be 'untouchable'. The man who, in my opinion made Deathrow what it was. But, was also it's downfall.
Knocked out, by a random dude in a club. I never thought i'd ever say that.
Me and Stacy had nothing important to do this Sunday. The weather was fantastic, so we took my Aunt's dogs to the park. This was the result....
I'd like to point out, Stacy insisted on holding both dogs initially. Which, resulted in her being pulled around. The black dog, is Molly. The little 'un is Jeff.
Eventually, I took control.
We had a brief sit down, before deciding to let them off their leads. With, dire results. Jeff stormed off at high speeds, assaulting everyone in his way, and eating anything off the plate of people who dared to have a picnic with him around.
Molly on the other hand, jumped in the water, didn't go for swim, just decided to stand there, for a hell of a long time. This, frustrated Stacy and Jeff after a while.
Whilst Stacy had a sit down, I thought i'd try and walk them around a bit. It started off well.....
But then they decided they both wanted to go in opposite directions, which makes for a ridiculous picture of me...
The reason we spent so long just sitting or strolling in the blistering heat, was mainly due to Molly being so wet, we couldn't put her back in the car yet.
So, Stacy had a kip, and Jeff saw his chance to make a break for it......
He surveyed the area intensely.
Little did the little git realise, I had all bases covered.
I enjoyed my weekend! Keeping dogs entertained is a fun nightmare.
