****
I'm going to miss College.
And in three years time, I'm guessing i'll miss University.
I'll miss the people. I'll miss time spent kicking a ball around. I may even miss the lessons. But mostly, i'll miss the 'learning' environment and the social aspect, because it means having to go back to work, talk like a twat, work with people who are just there to get one over on each other and be treated like a piece of machinary for the rest of my life.
Spending the rest of my life, sitting next to people who don't talk to each other, until the weekly meeting, in which they sit next to each other....... but on a different table, a table that suddenly gives them the power of conversation. The single most pointless activity in all Office life.
Spending the rest of my life hearing bollocks that has never, and will never make any real sense, no matter how many fat, arm pit sweating rich men in suits spit it out. Phrases i'm never likely to understand.
"Let's touch base"... Which after years of hearing, I decided means "So, tell me what's happening".... why don't you just fucking say that!!!!!!!!
"You and me are not on the same page"..... which means, "Either you do what I say without questionning it, or your out. It doesn't work the other way. There is no way when this is said, they mean "hey, i'm going to try extra hard to understand your point of view, come here and give me a hug big man."
"Ah sorry, my plate is full"....... Stop with the shit metaphors!!! What, in my experience this means is "I don't want to help you, because i'm busy bidding for a pair of shoes on Ebay
"We need someone who can hit the ground running." Sorry, what? I can't even analyse this one for what it might mean, it's just too cryptic.
Spending the rest of my life hearing the most bitchy people on the planet (office workers) love each other, until their backs are turned. Seriously, an example that summed up the Bitchiness at "The Q" perfectly....
***Woman A enters*****
Woman B - "wow you look nice, Woman A. Is that a new dress? Have you lost weight? Hair is looking gorgeous!!!!"
***Woman A leaves****
Woman B - "What a cow. Did you see her hair? Fat bitch, she can never fit in that dress, which looked trampy anyway!!!! I hear she talks about us behind our backs!!! I'd never do that!!!
Seriously, it drives you mad.
Spending the rest of my life doing the same shit, to make other people rich. People who never thank you for doing a job well, but start their period the moment you do something slightly wrong. God forbid they actually do something wrong, the entire team gets blamed. What they mean, the few times you see them out of their office, the few times they bother to talk to their workers, is "LINE MY POCKETS BITCH!!!" And we put up with it, purely so we can go on holiday once a year. What a fulfilled life. The joys of Capitalism.
I think I may just decide to win the lottery this weekend. It's long overdue. |
