 I'M RICH!2008-Aug-4 |
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The amount of prizes i've won in the past year is incredible.
Seriously. I got an email from a South African email address not too long ago, letting me know I have been selected as the winner of $2,000,000 prize fund. And that all I had to do was send my bank details to them. Unfortunately I was in the middle of swapping banks, from one bank of rip off money stealing cunts, to another bank of rip off money stealing cunts. Otherwise, i'd obviously be $2,000,000 better off now. Apparently, I beat 12,000,000 people to the prize fund.
A few weeks later. I got the same kind of message, from a Brazilian email address. The prize fund this time, $4,000,000. That's double my first winnings!!!! That's $6,000,000 I now have, unclaimed. These people are just too nice to me.
I got another message, asking me to spare some cash to help a poor family in Cairo. They wanted ALL my bank details and promised to only take out $2. Fuck that. I have $6,000,000 on it's way!!! They can have at least $4!!!!! I'm sure they wouldn't take out more than they promised. Otherwise, that'd be naughty.
Today, I got a phone call.
Yes. A Phone call.
They've moved up in the World.
The voice, which was an automated female American (Lexi?) told me...
"Congratulations, you have won our star prize.... A luxury 14 night Caribbean Cruise." End of call.
Whilst you're reading this, i'm predicting i'm going to be heading toward the Bahamas, sat on the top deck, next to the pool, sipping on a chilled glass of the finest Hennessey, which i can afford, given that i'm $6,000,000 richer.
I'm going to go pack now.
I'm going to put on a flowery yellow shirt that fat British men wear around the pool on holiday with their wife 'Sheila', a pair of shorts, some flip flops, and stand at Dover port, telling them i'm here for my Cruise.
See you in two weeks, losers!!!!
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2008-Aug-4 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by WelshPixie |
| I spent all my prize winnings last year on anti-spam protection. :D They haven't been so bothered with me this year - ah well. Back to rags from riches :( |
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2008-Aug-15 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by LadyVisine |
| Uhm, yeah... big congrats on your wonderful luck this past year. A word of warning though... excessive wearing of flip-flops has been known to cause a painful condition known as "hammer toe". I'd go easy on the flipflops... ;) |
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