 English Olympics!2008-Aug-8 |
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Say what you want about Communist human rights abusing nations, but they put on a great opening ceremony! And in the grand scheme of things, that's all that matters. Iran should have it next time.
Can you imagine all the fireworks shown at the ceremony in China, being used in London in 2012? There would be some many problems.
There'd be a health and safety inspection team, in flourescent jackets, with clipboards throughout the Stadium.
The little girl singing in the middle of the stadium, wouldn't be allowed, incase Peadophiles are there.
No cameras, without the athletes consent.
No English flag, incase it upsets Scotland.
Muslims will be offended in some way.
Javelin is way too sharp to be used. It could hurt someone! Ban it when it comes here.
Heat Magazine - Find out where Paula Radcliffe hangs out, and which athlete Charlotte Church says she would like to sleep with, along with other mindless bollocks, only in this weeks Heat!
There will be thousands of "The 2012 Olympics are sponsored by.... Nike, Adidas, Reebok, Kellogs, Foxy Bingo, Sony, Obsession... by Calvin Klein, Microsoft, MGM, Kappa, Gocompare.com" before and after every set of adverts for the Games.
Before every boxing match "Warning: Punching people in the face could lead to imprisonment".
Ice Skates? Not a chance. Do you know how many accidents that could cause?
Anyone watching the Olympics, will be taxed, a brand new Olympic Viewing Tax. But never fear, you will be able to pay it in one full payment, or spread the payments out over a period of three years, at rate of 3.5% for the first year!
Thinking you could get away with a sneaky cigarette? Idiot. What do you think the 2,800 CCTV cameras are for?
David Cameron will be Prime Minister, so to make sure the games are well funded, a few "unimportant" industries will be closed down, maybe privatise the NHS.
You wouldn't steal a car.......you wouldn't steal a DVD...... you wouldn't rape and old woman and steal her handbag... you wouldn't sell a child to an Albanian paedophile ring........downloading footage of the Olympics...is...stealing!
Way too much energy is being used. Maybe instead of fireworks, we could just use a sparkler?
Let's let fat people run too. It's unfair, and it discriminates against those who are overweight. Big is beautiful!!! Never forget that! How do you think it makes young girls feel when the athletes are all finely trimmed? It makes them feel like they should eat properly and exercise, which is wrong. Let fat people run. Let them run, like greyhounds, after a cheeseburger, to let kids know it's ok to be overweight.
And remember, running 100m, could lead to cancer, heart disease, brain tumour, nob rot, and aids.
"We want anybody who carries a knife into the Olympic village, that it's wrong. And will be dealt with"
"How do you plan to deal with it?"
"Well we're going to call them naughty boys, and hope that works".
Be safe, in 2012.
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| Post A Comment! |
2008-Aug-8 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by WelshPixie |
Funniest thing I've read all week. Thank you. ^.^
(Which is an interesting contrast to the picture... where the hell did you take that?) |
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2008-Aug-8 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by dantesinferno |
| That really was an amazing opening ceremony. And I don't even like olympics all that much. |
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2008-Aug-13 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by lunarfruity |
Lol,
"no english flag"
"muslims will be offended in some way"
AHaha.
Nice. |
| Permanent Link |
2008-Aug-15 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by LadyVisine |
| How I wish you were doing some of the commentating on the news from Bejing. yeah, you'd probably get arrested, but your audience would surely bail you out. |
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